Fuck appropriateness.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
