I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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