Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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