I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize
