i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
