Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
