I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
