She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize
