Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
