Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
