Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
