I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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