you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
