Dual....:-)
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
