My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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