how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
