Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
