matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
