whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
