its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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