Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
