Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
