if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
