i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
