and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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