I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
