I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
