We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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