this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
