I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
