He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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