Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I think my vagina is haunted
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
