Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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