Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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