We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
