I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
