Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
