On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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