i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
