My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
