the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
