it was like his penis was on wheels.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
