I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
