Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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