96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
