i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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