literally had 100 drinks last night.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
