Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
