ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
