Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
